When you hear the word “partner” what do you think of? Buddy cop movies? Lawyers? Same sex couples? It is a word that describes all of the above, and far more. As social creatures, we have partners in our academic, personal and professional lives. From group projects in college to 3-legged races at the company picnic, we frequently have to rely on others to help us reach our goals. Often our partners are chosen by circumstance, but we are regularly in a position to select them ourselves. If you’re looking for someone to help you with a paper on the technological advances of the Roman Empire, you’re probably going to call the smartest guy in class. When your boss tasks you to roll out a totally new product line, you’ll probably turn to the person with the most product launch experience. If you’re building a team for the start-up you’ve invested your life savings in, you’ll look for people whose strengths reinforce the areas where your resources are thinnest.

What about in your personal life? I doubt if most people think about “finding a partner” in the same way as the previous examples. Wouldn’t the same qualities desired be necessary though? Intelligence, Experience, Complimentary Strengths, Trust? And certainly Love. Setting aside the lightning-strike of love-at-first-sight, which is intuitive and unexplainable, all of these things should be considered, if only in passing. I had a college buddy who did a pros-and-cons list for every girl he asked out. I thought that was a bit over the line, and the girls normally did too. I also had a friend who regularly moved in with her new boyfriend because he was always “The One.” Eventually, she was right, but there were many, many calls along the way asking if I was available that weekend and still had a pickup truck. I think we all consider these qualities over the weeks, months, and years that we spend getting to know our partners. We watch them with their families, see them dealing with financial and career decisions, and listen to them when they talk with us about their worries. This learning process is never-ending, as everyone grows and changes throughout their lives. It is thought provoking when I consider what kind of partner I am to my wife. It is an exercise that we all should do regularly.