EngelFish.Net

I am chronically late. Ask anyone. The only things I’m always on time to are events where being late causes serious problems. I get to the airport early. I get to business meetings on time. I never arrive late for court. Otherwise, expect me ten to fifteen minutes after I’m supposed to be there. My friends call it “being on Engel time”. This is a common problem for folks with ADHD. We want to try and squeeze in just *one* more thing before we leave for an appointment. We really do want to be on time, we simply have a hard time pulling it off.

The coping mechanism I’m trying to build to deal with this issue is centered around weekly and daily planning sessions. I sit down for about an hour at the start of each week and review my project/task list and my calendar. I go through and block my entire day, from waking up to going to bed. I look for any appointments where someone else is relying on me being there, which are the highest priority. I schedule in my “dailies” (things I do every single day to keep moving toward my goals). That means I block out an hour in the morning for working out, then I block out my weekday time at the consulting gig, and then time for my photography business, and time for writing. I know I have to eat and take care of household chores, so I schedule time for those as well. The whatever time remains, is available for tackling my non-photography tasks.

I also ensure enough time for commutes. It takes time to get back and forth from appointments, and that can take a serious bite out of my day if I’m not careful. This is probably the piece that makes the most noticeable difference to other people. I dedicate time to figuring out how long it is really going to take me to get from A to B. I put reminders into my calendar to tell me “Leave in 15 minutes” which gCal sends to my phone as an SMS. The reminder prompts me wrap up whatever I’m doing and prepare to leave. The trick is paying attention to my phone and heeding my own messages.

Remember the Milk (http://www.rememberthemilk.com), my todo-list software, allows me to include estimates of how long any task will take. As a rule, I never add a task to the list without attaching the estimate. When I review each day’s list, I can see if the estimated time for the scheduled tasks exceeds my available time that day. If so, I decide what gets bumped to another day, dropped altogether, or kept. Once done, my whole week will be booked out, with realistic expectations of my time. I try to include some slack in my schedule too. If every single minute is planned out, it only takes one delay to trash the plan. Leaving some wiggle-room is just a pragmatic hedge.

As I move through the week, I check off things I’ve completed, and add new tasks as necessary. Each time I add a new task, I take the time to consider where it fits into my plan, based on it’s importance, urgency, and the resources it will require.

At the end of each day I take ten minutes to review. With undone stuff, I decide to either reschedule, drop, or delegate it (delegating being my favorite). I review the next day’s plan too, adjusting if needed. Something unexpected, like a last minute invitation to dinner, a pet getting sick, or a task taking much longer than expected can all change the course of a day. I don’t sweat it when that happens, and simply deal with the changes during my end of day review.

This system, like any, is only as good as my commitment to it. When I follow my own rules, it works; when I don’t, it breaks down. Two things have to happen for this to succeed: First, it has to be IMPORTANT to me, and second, I have to make it a habit. Really important things stay on the front burner of my mind, and I find myself thinking about them when I’m not thinking of anything at all (while I shower, commute, run, etc). If I make a deliberate effort to build the necessary habits (sitting down Sunday for my weekly review, listening to my phone alarms, etc) then I can greatly decrease the amount of thinking I have to do to keep up with everything, and less decision-making equals more productivity (the less I think the more I do). I’d be interested in hearing how you make sure you’re on time, and how you get everything done in a week that you need to. Especially those of you with families. As difficult as I find it to wrangle myself, I’m blown away by the productivity of my friends with children. Where do you guys find the time?

There are some basic things everyone should learn early in life; how to tie your shoes, saying please and thank-you, and the value of persistence. Most everyone masters the first two pretty early (although some folks could use an occasional reminder about saying thank you). The persistence thing can take a while longer to really sink in, especially for someone who has “a touch of ADD” like yours truly. It is a really amazing thing though.

Like lots of people, I put on a bit of weight in the 10-15 years after college. It crept up on me, until one day I realized I was fat. Not just a bit overweight, but *fat*. There is no way to make that stuff go away overnight. It takes months, or even years, of making a daily effort to eat more mindfully and exercise consistently. But sticking with the effort and getting back on that horse every time you fall (because we will fall), pays off. I have watched my weight come down steadily the last few months, as I watched what I ate, and incorporated regular exercised into every day. I have slipped up and eaten poorly for a few days, or missed a few workouts, but each time I picked up where I left off. The small steps I take every single day move me in toward my goal, and sticking with it through the bumps and setbacks guarantees that I will get there.

This morning I went for a 3 mile run through my neighborhood and along a park trail nearby. It was dark and only fifty degrees when I stepped out my door, without gloves, a hat, or a light. Pretty quickly I had chilly fingers and ears, and was thinking about how warm my bed had been. But then I realized how quiet it was as the sky slowly brightened, how relaxed I felt running, and how optimistic I felt. When I started building my fitness routine, and set a goal of getting to my target weight, I couldn’t do this. Back then I wouldn’t get out of a warm bed, in the dark, to go outside in the chill. I couldn’t run three miles, or up any hills at all. When I did exercise, it took too much effort for me to notice anything other than my tired muscles and ragged breathing. Before starting down this path, my dour days outnumbered my upbeat ones. All that has changed, slowly, gradually, and consistently. By setting a goal, making a plan, and persisting through the months, I am succeeding. You could call it “working” toward a goal, but it feels pretty darn good for “work”. And let me tell you, the hot shower when I got home felt terrific.

Early last year I lost almost 60 pounds, which was a great thing. The catch, and there always is one, is that late last year I “found” 40 of those pounds. I realized lately how much of a psychological burden those pounds have, and decided that the extra weight is going away. I’ve signed up for a half marathon in April (as added incentive to train) and set a goal of going from 240# last Monday to 170# by June 20th. I’m using a prudent combination of diet (lean protein and lots of veggies… but nothing “white”), planned “splurge days”, daily running/walking, and 25 minute work-outs every other day. This will be the 2nd most important goal I have during this period, right after getting work and keeping the bills paid.

How I'll Get There from Here

Although I am a creature of habit, I also like to say that I am not afraid of change. I’m not sure which of those sentiments is true though, or to what degree they are both true. This past year was brimming over with change, and it is a trend that doesn’t seem to be over. I want to be comfortable with change, and I am actually quite happy with the change that *I* am driving. It looks, feels, and smells like there may be some change heading my way that won’t be something I’ve initiated. I’m not as happy about that (although a small part of me is) and I am trying actively to prepare myself. I am trying to be zen about it all, but some days I just want to crash on the couch and sleep until it’s all over. Know what I mean?

So Skype now has a mobile-to-mobile deal where international calls are basically free. So I was IMing with Taryn and we decided to try it. She was on her laptop, and I was on my iphone, using the wifi at work. The connection was easy to do, and the sound quality was fantastic! It sounded like she was in the room with me, far superior sound to regular calls. I was really impressed. The two things I didn’t like were that I couldn’t use my bluetooth headset (it was a “data” feed, not a regular call, so the headset wouldn’t come on) and the fact that ever time a reminder came up or a call came in it would put Taryn on hold. Regardless, it’s a great way to stay in touch without killing yourself financially. I’ll call it a win.